Honestly...

Earlier today I decided to give up the internet for life. So, I figured for old times sake I'd scour the www-dots for one more gem to watch before I unplugged the guy who lives above me's proverbial wireless plug. Then I found this video. Whoever synched up this vid absolutely owns the stoner who did the Wizard of Oz thing.



P.S. Internet, I need you inside me.

Oh, also my best friend Noah was in the NY Times on Sunday. Here is the link. Check the multimedia part too!

Holy Fucking Shit!

Weezer - "Pork & Beans"

For anyone who regularly attends this bloggertation, or has ever used the internet, this music video could potentially satisfy you:

Zach Galifianakis at Ohio State

Pretty Unreal

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

SNL/Ricky Gervais

from david cho's blog:

New Kids On The Block...

...back in action.

No biggie:

(P.S. Its just as good as you'd think it'd be.)

Some pictures...

If you don't like John Mayer....

Now you do:

Sure

Bomb Threat from Amir on Vimeo.

Absolutely

Uh huh

Yes

Wowowowowowow

Beautiful

Very awesome

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Aldous Snow

I think this is really funny:

Love it.

American League batting leaders as of today:



Also, this is a wonderful video:

Apparently, it does matter.

I spent my morning reviewing some old sitcom themes (Obv).

Like Family Matters:



Even better, the comments thread underneath the video (It is strongly recommended that you read from the bottom up):




I think I might have to make more of these posts.

Wiig is the new Radner

Jake & Amir

These two kids work at College Humor and make hilarious 1-minute office videos. Here is one of my favorites:



Phone Call from Amir on Vimeo.

jakeandamir.com

Nelly (the rapper...not my childhood dog)

OMG! St. Louis:  Here we are in "The Lou."  We went to the Cardinal's game tonight, it was cool I guess.  New baseball parks are essentially malls with infields.  This is awesome if you're fat and from The Lou.  Regardless, we know what you're thinking and YES we listened to Nelly upon driving into the city.  Coincidence? I think not.  Anypoop, things are pretty sweet.  We went to the Arch today. Jeff insists it is technically some type of parabola.  Basically, St. Louis (according to Jeff) is the "parabola to the west."  We ate BBQ in Kansas City earlier today.  You could liken this to getting "lucky" in a whorehouse. Shit was ace. Judging by the autographed pictures on the wall, I support Jimmy Carter circa 1980. The man understands fiscal responsibility AND the pulled pork.  Uhm... So I guess I should give you a YouTube, huh?  Here you go:

No Dorothy, we actually are...

I'm currently in a Day's Inn in Hays, Kansas.  If you Google "hays kansas" it says "did you mean: not hays kansas?" Though let me tell you, Hays is amazing this time of year. My friend Jeff and I naturally ate at Applebees and obviously got boneless buffalo wings.  You order boneless wings in the midwest, its just what you do.   You meet the bartender, he tells you that Wal-Mart is fun after a few beers.  From there, you obviously head to Wal-Mart and buy your own WWF "unanimous"  title-belt (There were several unanimous title-belts for sale there which seems a bit of a faux pas to me).  Anyways, I'm just saying... You go to Applebees then Wal-Mart when you're in the midwest: Its just what you do.  Another thing, upon checking in the motel the woman at the desk said, and this isn't a joke "Would you like a smoking room or a non-smoking room?" to which Jeff replied "Smoking...I guess" and she replied "Well, we are a non-smoking Day's Inn so we can't help you there."  Anyways, 227 is an amazing room and this video is pretty ace too:

Weird

Star Wars according to a 3 year old...

I was told my last post was old news.  In order to exemplify that I have some of the freshest YouTube sensibilities, I offer you this. This kid is so dominant. If you haven't seen any of the Star Wars movies, you're in luck. All you need is this:

How many can you take?

I got this from Jess over at Fat Chicks and it is amazing. I don't want to hyperlink this because I think it is really funny to read the full URL sooooo:

http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/

They told me I could only take on 26 five year olds. I was pretty ruthless in my answering too. I guess I'll have to reevaluate some things.

26

The Mountain Goats

I love The Mountain Goats (basically just John Darnielle). His album The Sunset Tree is easily on my Top 5 Albums of all-time:



The following video is for the song This Year. Which incidentally is from The Sunset Tree:



Email me if you want me to send you some Mountain Goats. And If you don't have my email address, you probably shouldn't be emailing me.

Funny picture

Here is a cell phone photo my roommate Brian emailed me. He told me he doesn't remember anything from last Friday. Luckily someone got this shot.

Think Dumb & Dumber:

HBO's science is tight

Here are a couple of funny Mr. Show clips in honor of THIS exciting entertainment news:

"Hillary in the house!"

Here is a great video clip of some Hillary supporters in Texas:

It's as if a large black woman is trapped inside of him.

Highlights for me:  The guys dance moves and overall enthusiasm.  The guy with the pony tail singing back-up vocals.  Also, you'll notice right at the end there is a priceless collective awkward pause.  That moment to me, accurately typifies the essence of what I think is funny.  Youtube is basically a Christopher Guest movie that never ends.  And I like it.

"I like American Movie....baaaaaaby..."

Soooo, apologies for the shitty blog that was yesterday. It had to be done.

Today is completely dedicated to American Movie:



Please tell me you guys have seen it. It involves an aspiring horror director from Wisconsin who lets someone document his trials and tribulations. If you haven't seen it... do yourself a favor and rent it. If you have... enjoy these clips:







If you just watched these clips and haven't seen the film, do yourself a favor and fucking watch it, asshole.

Shitty blog for a day

Sooooo..... hey guys! like, i kno... 2'sday? sooo lame. remember in empire records when that one person was like "whats with today, huh?" thats sooo today for me right now. i should so find that utoob clip. sooo anyways, last night was pretty cool, i just kind of laid low. my buddy darren brought over some dr peppers (in glass bottles!) and temple of doom. its definitely the best indiana jones. so check this clip. this is what im bumpin on:



Creed?! How did I miss these guys?! Honestly. Its almost like I wrote the songs becuzz they're like the soundtrack to my life. ya know? anyways, these guys rock for sure. also, did you see the preview for this:



can i tell you i luv martin lawrence? ok good. that movie looks hilarious though huh? maybe its just me though. i've been dying for martin lawrence ever since i gave up the "martin: season 2" dvd's for lent. well any who, i think thats all i wanted to say. im headed to chilis to meet up with the old man. well...my boss i should say.... who is my dad.... my shift starts in like 7 minutes. my boss is gonna be p-o'd! anyways creed rocks guys! see u l8er!


P.S, I h8 myself
P.P.S. I want 2 die

An open letter to LOST...

Dear LOST,

Ever since the moment I met you my life has been different. I'll never forget our first weekend together. My roommates were out of town and we had the house all to ourselves. I remember I first watched you on the couch. I remember watching you on the floor. I even remember that weird position I watched you in on the love seat. We were so young. It was just you and me. Curtains drawn, phone off and you revealed yourself to me. With each layer you removed, the more I was drawn to you. I remember when that weekend was over and I wasn't gonna get to see you again for over a month. That was hard for me, us. All I could do was vent to my friends about how much I missed you. Only some would listen.

When you finally came back, it was heavenly. I'll never forget those first two hours we were back together. I thought it would be weird. But it wasn't. Talk about picking up where we left off. However, when those two hours were finished you were gone again. I wanted more...didn't you? So, again I waited for you. And again you blew my mind. You're a wonderful lover, but a terrible companion. You just aren't there for me Friday through Wednesday. Its almost as if I only see you for an hour a week. But I digress, our mid-week makeup sex will have to suffice.

The past few weeks must have been really hard for you. You seem vulnerable. Our Thursdays together are magical but I worry that you are telling me things I don't want to hear. Listen, I was originally attracted to you because I couldn't figure you out. As we've gotten to know each other more, I've become afraid of what you might tell me. As we continue to grow closer, I wonder more what you're hiding from me. Maybe I have trust issues, but I feel like there is something important you want to tell me. I'm here. Don't ever forget that.

Its Monday right now. I cant wait to see you this week. Where should we meet? I was thinking my place. Let me know...schnookims!

Love,

Jonathan
XOX

New Fred Simmon's Commercial

This guy absolutely kills me. Here is one of his commercials.

Gold:

'Cause these are the breaks!!!

There is a thin line between being friendly with kids and being creepy-friendly with kids. After watching this clip of Mr. Rogers we see that he blurs this line (i.e. "That's really nice!"). Regardless, his guest on the show is 15 years younger than me and 10 times cooler. Check it:

Robert Downey Jr.'s got soul

One of these people is Jack Black. One of these people is Ben Stiller. And finally, one of these people is Robert Downey Jr. Yup. Article below. Check it:



Note: To be clear, this is not a joke. Here is the actual article. Believe it.

Fred Simmons - "King of the Demo"

Very funny clip of Fred Simmons on Conan:

O.B.G. Y/N?

Did everyone watch Oprah's Big Give last night?




It was on one of my 5 channels and I just happened upon it. I certainly hadn't planned on watching it. I hadn't see any ads for it on ABC. I definitely wasn't aware that it started directly after Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (often referred to as EMHE) hosted by Ty Pennington, which I didn't watch last night and have never watched.

Regardless, O.B.G was like a cross between The Amazing Race (100% swear I've never watched it) and EMHE. Oprah has decided to share the wealth despite having never shared her magazine cover. The premise of the show is contestants competing in a charity work-off. They have to find the most needy people and give things to them. However, we are treated to the awful, depressing, soul-wrenching background stories of the recipients. Here we see something interesting:

1. Oprah broadcasts stories of herself helping emotionally fragile people:



2. Millions of other emotionally fragile people tune-in and dream for an hour:



3. Oprah sells advertisements:



4. Oprah gives one person hope and millions at home false, toothfairyesque dreams:



5. Oprah uses emotionally fragile people to make money off of other emotionally fragile people. Thus expanding her ever-reaching sympathy-fucking empire into unseen horizons:



In a sense, O.B.G. is a microcosm of Oprah's vagenda. She has created a business of charity (see: Lance Armstrong) in which "good" and "hope" are spoon fed (sold) to people void of any semblance of either good or hope. O.B.G. shows you one weak person become stronger through wildly unrealistic circumstances.

Oprah uses her money to show that she can help people. Then once people believe that she is a savior, she sells things with her "life-changing" brand. This gives her more money to repeat this process on a larger scale.

Don't get me wrong here, I enjoy charity. I think its a wonderful concept. I just have a problem with Oprah selling it. Or maybe I'm just pissed she thought of it first.

Ben Kronberg on Jimmy Kimmel

Last night my friend Ben was on Jimmy Kimmel Live. It was effen sweet. You can watch it right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kPtJW48yMo

Finally

Or as Oprah would say it:  Finaaaaalllllllllaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!

Anyways, this

fabrice fabrice

yes

this